freckle time, freckle time freck-freck-freckle time, freeeeckle tiiiiime!

I am one zonked mama.. i didnt get a chance to excersize today, eat breakfast or have coffee. I did drink lots of h2o and Shawn made fish tonight for dinner.. and he brought me home two lemons, how i love lemons.. the smell.. the color.. he loves me!
Here are some dandy little diddys from this sunday. The Gendron Five had a blast playing outside in the sun, getting muddy and exploring, just running with not as much boundaries! I got some freckles too, anything to take away from my huge nose, thank you dad for giving me your nose and ears..
enjoy, be blessed & be delightful!




Dear God, help me appreciate every season of mothering with new eyes that see life from the fresh perspective of my child. AMEN.

Yes I totally know Aidan needs a hair cut... i will.. soon.. but I do love his crazy hair.. think Gene Wilder!
;oD




goodbye snow peeples.. thanks for making us smile in the winter months as we peered out the windows to wave at you! See you next year!




And my little "rebel w/o a cause" has finally started eating w/utencils! I know I know, waaay to long overdue! but everything has to be on "his time"- I have up on Thanksgiving. Saturday night I came out from the backroom and there he was, he at with his fork the whole time! rock on little buddy! I praised him soo much, he was diggin' it. Then sunday morning.. Aiva never finishes her milk.. so he crossed the table, grabbed a large spoon and had at it! "slurrp sluurp!" what a relief!
He's talking soo much you guys! its awesome, and today i did some math, and I estimate he says mom about 470 times a day! no joke! yikes!

Maivey is hard to photograph, she's always bouncing! Notice Aiv's? future shutterbug?






Aiva adores dance! and the girls she dances with are soo sweet and gentle! it's a blast!

artsy fartsy is my hearts delight!

OK i cant wait to blog about my day, and some pics from it are uploading right now.. have to get the kids to bed right now but will return soon to share!
I love this song, it really communicates simply and to the point, what ive been feeling the past three days.
and yes im an artsy fartsy kinda gal.

3 am epiphany///what dieing your hair does///or mid 20's crisis?

So I am a bit confused right now, my hearts a little down.
I had Shawn cancel the "backorder" of the Canon 5DMII. I totally wish it would have come 6 weeks ago. See tuesday night I died my hair.. no I don't know what i was thinking! ( mid 20's mother of three crisis? )BUT THE CHEMICALS TOTALLY SEEPED INTO MY BRAIN.. Next day I was mad at myself to think I could be so happy at a silly decision as to buy a nearly $3,000 camera, when we have 3 little mouths to feed, bills to pay. And what if I don't make it?
Last year I started feeling out the possibility of being a pro photog. I loved it. and doors & windows were opening like crazy.
But you know what.. and this is the hard part..
i now have a 12 month old baby girl, that honestly ( tears ) i didnt invest alot of memory making with. She is a super content baby and has 3 + 4 year old brother and sisters that really keep her entertained, and i took advantage of that ALOT.. way to much.
and the worse mother of the year award goes to Julie G.

for what? to get a few minutes, okay.. hours in front of this lousy computer. Learning Corel Paint Shop Pro Photo, then Lightroom, even shutterfly.com to build my templates. for what?
i regret it, its a horrible feeling, and yes when i read peoples blogs or facebook status updates about their new 5DMII.. i get a twinge of jealousy, but you know what, maybe someday I'll get something spiffy like that. How imature of myself to allow my husband to show his love and belief in me to buy me such an expensive piece of technology.. I am going to earn my way, like i have all this life, im not going to cut corners or let the cart get before this horse. I mean come on. im just learning to use my XTI in Manual mode.. wow.. Yep, ive been using it in "P" mode for 1.5 years yay for me! Ok I'm done ranting, tomorrow shawn has off, we have a 1 yr old who has lot of teeth pain, and alot of memories to make, and fresh snow! Tomorrow is going to be the most beautiful day ever.. { say this every night before you fall asleep and you'll here your pillow make snap crackle poppy noises when your cheek slowly forms a peaceful hopeful smile!
living this life to love,
Julie G
PS- Dear Shawn, Please forgive me for allowing you to belive that you needed to buy me an expensive peace of technology to show your love. You dont, You believe in me and I know it, You are a great mailman, and wonderful father, and an outstanding husband. I so cherish your waking up in the middle of the night with your arms wrapped around me. You, God, and our three mugwumps are all this little woman needs!

I'm a thankful mama..

oh wow..
grab a tissue...
or ten..
ok the WHOLE box!

ardent

I AM … a thankful, busy, determined woman!

I WANT… to learn a lot in a little amount of time.

I HAVE … a happy home filled with a lot of love.

I KEEP … advertisements from magazines for inspiration. Kind words, notes and emails.

I WISH I COULD … sleep for 12 hours straight.

I HATE … ignoranceI FEAR … time

I HEAR … the rain outside

I DON’T THINK … the floors are going to get mopped today..nope definatley NOT!

I REGRET … not being bubbly and outgoing at the FTSNY stop…

I LOVE … kisses on my forehead, and rocking with my Maive, cheek to cheek in the chair.

I AM NOT … going to live with regret.

I DANCE … horribley bad, but its fun, and I love to! Specially with my little ones!

I SING … only when the music is loud enough to where I cannot hear myself
I NEVER … finish everything on my plate.

I RARELY … start an argument

I CRY WHEN I WATCH … home movies, visa, Kodak, or hallmark commercials

I AM NOT ALWAYS … in control of my emotions

I HATE THAT … people judge a book by it’s cover

I’M CONFUSED ABOUT … business related stuff..I NEED … soup, crackers and a big blanket.

I SHOULD … pray more.

Free to Succeed Tour!

it doesnt show but there was internal spontaneous combustion of excitinment within me
Shawn asking for some hubby/shooting tips?
where are the monkeys?

Well... our 5th anni was the 23rd. and we spent it together the 25th on our way to the Free To Succeed Tour put on by David Jay ft Jasmine Star.
I am so thankful we were able to go and it was the first time we had been away together really since our honeymoon.
It was the strangest thing though to not have three kids in the back of the car competing for your attention!
Its such a gloomy day, I'm feeling overtired and I feel bad I am blogging right now but everyone is alseep at the
moment and this is my opportune time!
Jasmine Star was so refreshing. I immediately fell head over heels in love with her, she made me laugh so much,
she was genuine and hilarious and really got my passion revved. ANd if you are wondering, yes i chickened out
and I was my usual reserved shy self. But also I've been extremely sleep deprived, and some other stressor
have come about in our lives that have been kind of zapping our energies and I know that neither Shawn or I were
completely ourselves!
But yes Jasmine is just so lovable. AND SHE HUGGED ME! You know im not a hugger, but i loved her hug! It was special!
I even did that goofy squeely thing as when we got there an hour early we checked out where the place was
before we had to get some grub in our bellies.. the elevator door opened and shawn stepped out, and stepping in was JD ( J*'s hubby!)
Yeah, i was suprised and squealed the
( I know you-kind of-sort of-from your wifes blog-back to jr high backstreet boy squeal.. yeah I soo did.)
And I'm 25 and a mother of three!
It was a blast though, I felt a little more like me for a while. When you have kids, life is just so
go go go fast fast fast, everyone competeing life just is on fast forward and i rarely get alot of time
to just think really. It was so nice to have complete uninterrupted, non fragmented thoughts.. and breathing,
i got to breath, i wasnt a nurse, referee, chef for one night! ROCK ON!
Jasmine talked alot about how to brand yourself. ANd in all she had to say I realized I know nothing of me.
weird I know, but i dont, a whirwhind of a hurtful childhood, I was always a camelion, wanting to be whatever I could see someone
wanted me to be, so they would be happy with me, and i wouldnt recieve their rejection,
I've never really had a chance to be me. And I really dont know who I am.
The good news is this.
Shawn and I just rededicated our lives to Christ. I am going to learn who i am and need to be in identifying myself in Christ.
Keep It Real is what J* said. I have alot of obstacles to overcome: I am passive. Not a take charge girl.
But i will earn to be, she said to figure out who you are as a person and then infuse that into your photography so
in the next few weeks, that is my goal, im reading a ton when i can, praying, and just finding out what i like,
why it is i like it, embracing that and then bringing that into my new career.. PHOTOGRAPHER!
Also, on the way home we popped on a Pennslyvania christian radio station and I heard Natalie Grant's In Better Hands,
I've heard it a few times before, but i actually was like forced to listen to the words, and with thinking of all i had learned at the
seminar and the words how it all tied in, it was like a message from the big guy, its cool how there is so
double meanings in it all, and you can learn so much.
I went to learn alot of how i want to run my business coming in 2009, but also it so applied to my christian walk.
and i bawled.. i was crying so hard. I had fought it for so long, choking tears back for months no,
all the pain and confusion that have been brought about this year, it all came about and i finally broke, one can only be so strong for so long.
Shawn pulled off the highway and we got out and he just held me for so long, no words,
just his arms and it was so overdue, so needed.. and I am thankful..
and im thankful for Shawn.. my nascar driver,
dropping an $85.00 dinner.. yeah like whoa! thats a months worth of formula for maive,
or 2 months of diapers.. ah well, it was so worth it! I wish I could meet DJ, Becker, J*, Kenny Kim again.. they seem so fun, nice, genuine, everything that we're lacking here in the Binghamton NY!
ah well!
Maybe we should be the change? Thanks for reading! any encouragement from what you've read, or confirmation would be greatly appreciated. I love feedback..
i am going to work on my site: http://www.juliegendron.com/.. because really, its kind of lame!
'o)

Okaaaaaaaayyyy.. sooo my coooompuuuuuuuuuter was soooo slow today, but for once, i was sooo very thankful for the raaaainn, and oh there was alot of it! I got so much done! But when the sun returns, you can bet your bottoms that the Gendron crew will be out rollin' in the grass racing and just embracing the wonderful stage of toddlerhood-mommyhood..

Here a a few shots from Kevin & Deanna Brown's wedding July 11, 2008..

Congrats you guys! I love you and am sooo very happy to have you in our lives! ANNND I CANT WAIT TILL YOU HAVE WITTLE "D'S" AND WITTLE "BROWNS" TO BLESS THIS WORLD!
BE BLESSED!
*J

Mission statement!

Well, I dont have one yet ..
but last night i read a quote that really hit the nail on the head for me:

* A true measure of your worth includes all the benefits others have gained from your success *

and then this mornign I got an awesome email from my brother in law Matt in Tampa, FL and near the end of the email he said : "Lastly just remember that your success can be measured as much by the joy you bring to others through your talent and hard work as it can by your business and financial success."

I love it, God is too good to me yes so yeah.. getting back to work on what I am about, why and all that.. just had to share, i've been grinning from ear to ear all day!

to be loved you have to give love.
if i love others they'll love me back
treat others how you would like to be treated..
well, the realism of my adult hood i've come to realize is as of
year ago or so, give love and they keep taking
loving others sucks you dry
treating people how you want to be treated just leaves you hanging.
I realize that in the Christian walk, we just give give give and love unconditionally and
we are not supposed to expect anything back..
but im selfish
and i feel bone dry
lonley, and full of regrets
and on the other hand i know its just maybe some baby blues a little late.
but all i can dream of, is me and Maive, on a desserted island, in our little toga thingys all cute,
sippin coconut milk and other pretty drinks with umbrellas and such.. and nobody else, just me and my shmooopie snuggling in a white hammock, sunlight and leaf shadows dancing over our faces.
I feel like she is the only thing in this world that makes me feel anything. I feel so loved by her
and i adore how we just connect, eye to eye, heart to heart, she's so tender and just nestles in to you. I dont want this time to end, ever.. i wish it'd go on and on... just me and her, and her tinyness.. babies grow to fast.
I'm tired I guess, weepy, nostaligic..
im selfish
unappreciative
and american...

i think that went over my head.. again..

I've been sleeping great and all..
but still finding that i feel as if me brain is hanging off my ear lobe.
Momnesia in it's fullest.
I'm having the most difficult time understanding people latley.
Not like there talking to fast, or with a stutter or lisp understanding, but like i guess, i dont know..
More like the words in their sentences are like scrambled somewhat, and while they continue on explaining themselves or the story I'm thinking wait a minute what? But I hate asking people to repeat themselves again.
Just take note to yourself, dont "hint to me" things, dont play the read between the lines, hope I catch your drift game. If you have something to say don't hold back, just say it, dont waste my time making things poetic either please?
Otherwise you'll hang up with me angry that I'm clueless and is she that "blonde"? And i'll find myself 3 months down the road in the shower all of a sudden thinking of that conversation and realizing what the true intention, or meaning it was you were trying to get across to me was and i was jsut listening to the words coming out of your mouth, not the real thing you were wanting to say. Communication, why is it so hard?
and why do some select peoples, have no problem doing so, but thrive on it so negativley..
gossip..
That's all I have to say.
I'm feeling a bit hurt, but just wanted you all to know, those of you who read that is, to just be straight up with me, if theres something you want me to know, tell me.. okay... life's short.
in the meantime.. .... .... i need to make some new friends..

She has returned...

Ahhh.. the creativity bug has bitten again.
All of a sudden I have all these ideas to try, and my brain is in full swing of all things photography related once more..
i love it!
sometimes i hate it because it makes me discontent..
but im thankful for the "eye"
for the software
and some time now and then to myself
and for now, these shall suffice!

Love,
Julie

ahhhhh...

So I've been pretty excited to be able to finally get back together with old friends.
They are the best!
I am so happy Shawn wants to go back up to be with the Spencers, Freshwaters, Fluger and Underwood families.
I love being able to drive and to go down the roads I know so well!
And the company of great friends. I've missed so much!
These people are soo true, caring and genuine and truly Christ like.
They're those people in which the bible states that when they meet God he will tell them
"Well done, good and faithful servant."
They are the people that when for some odd reason they've seemingly fell off the face of the planet, I believe that will mean the rapture has occurred.
I've always wanted to be more like the Spencer girls. They are so pure and genuine. They are soft spoken and sweet and its all natural for them. It's just who they are, with no effort.
They know all there is to cooking, baking and sewing. When we were younger we used to get lost on the "land" and just appreciate nature so much. In the winter time we'd collect maple syrup. All bundled up scarves and all, smiling at each other with red cheeks and squinty eyes. The huge maple tree that looks like something out of Lord of the Rings and the swings from the branches. The view from Spencer's mountain, the gatherings, the fall with cider and hot cocoa, doughnuts and such.
Gail has always addressed me as her daughter explaining that they adopted me.
Elizabeth, Sharon and Laura have always called me their sister.
The hugs they give have this amazing ability. They are real hugs
So warm and just loving, when you leave for the day you carry back to Binghamton with you this abundant feeling, this filled up, cupeth overflow feeling. That you are just so loved, and I know this love comes from Jesus.. through them.. I think I've seen Christ in their eyes, and actions.

I've missed it all, but if things go right, my kids will now be able to enjoy it with me!
I've known the spencer girls for 11 years and my fondest memories are because I was able to hold on to some of my childhood in knowing them. I they held on to purity and innocense for so long. When we got together we were playing in the snow outside like little kids, inside games by the stove and talking about silly things, playing dress up, curling hair....
I'm so glad they are all back in our lives and I'm so relieved, excited and such to know that my own children will be able to grow up knowing people who carry themselves with great integrity, with holyness and wholey and completley live their lives according to God. They walk in Jesus and Jesus is their whole heart. I am so thankful they at this young age I could meet such special people who are hard to come by! I am a lucky girl, my family is blessed by thier friendships.

Your dose of birth control!

Last week Maive got her 2 month dose of 4 shots in less than 30 seconds, and unlike Aiva and Aidan she has had quite the "reaction" from them.
She’s still my sweet smiley angel just dealing with some bodily issues..
so this morning i awake with shawn to begin the 5:30am... and as I get coffee started i hear the beginning of a seemingly never ending cry.. poor Maive, the most amazingly manly loud noises began to come from her wee baby butt, and with each release of explosive baby gas, she shreaked in pain, which for a mom, who really cant comfort her in any way but to let it pass, is exasperating..
this went on for about an hour, she is finally through that bout of rear end issues and is now sleeping peacefully after 3 hours in her bassinet...
Aiva had come down during the course of all this and thankfully distracted our nuclear reactor of energy called "Tana" ( Montana ) the border collie from jumping on me and following me around as I pace the house with Maive in my arms.. Aiva has her first cold of the season. Thankfully its nothing big, no fever, no complaining, just swollen eyes and a raspy voice, otherwise she’s normal, coloring, dancing and playing, just a tad clumsy.
So I get Maive down check on Aidan who is still fast asleep, trusty grubby puppy in arms and jump in for a nice warm shower to get refreshed and hopefully "restart" this day. Well, the water was not nice. It wasnt cold, it wasnt hot, it was warm but not warm enough, I had goosebumps all over. Again i came to find that Shawn had turned the temp down on the water heater. I got dressed and huddled next to the stove for a minute remembering I need to pump Maive some boob milk. I get started and then hear aidan finally awake, upstairs, i call up to him "Mommie’s got five more minutes i’ll be up soon!"

I finished up and ran up the stairs to retrieve my red head, only to find his poopy filled diaper on the floor, and him sitting in his crib head down afraid to look up, poop all over his big red elmo and all over his legs, socks, butt, back and crib sheet..
I lifted him out careful to hold him out from me and under his armpits as to not get any poopy on me, i mean come on! I actually showered this morning!! and raced him downstairs to the bathroom to wipe him down and get him in the tub and start the washer. Meanwhile in passing Tana is runnin up stairs to which she knows she’s not allowed!
I got Aidan cleaned and in the tub, ran up and got all the feced covered stuff only to find the dog nosing around with the diaper, and then I lost it, I went to the second story kids bedroom window and started pulling it down turned to retrieve the dog only to stop myself in knowing i couldnt throw her out, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. ( Yesterday she snapped her collar got loose, then ripped holes all around our screened in back porch ) I was not happy and neither was Shawn, she pretty much is a great dog and listens but we think she’s making us pay for leaving her in the kennell all day Easter Sunday and then all that night.
So yes, this is how my morning has started.
Time for some breakfast and focused breathing.. and a few more washings of that one load! Thank God for washing machines and dryers, bathtubs, and the internet to vent on.
If you are thinking of having kids, or have kids and want more, I hope this gives you some insight!

love,
j

Sweet sleep!

I got such an awesome nights sleep last night.
Feeling very refreshed this sunny morning.
It's still cold outside, but I am so ready for this day!
Excersizing! Blasting some music while the kids are upstairs!
Spring cleaning and going to visit Shawn on his lunch break!
It's going to be a wonderful day!
I love when I feel like this, I'm a nice person, im unstoppable, irresistable ;oP and
INVINCIBLE!

Spring!

heeeeeeeee...ahhhhhh -thats me taking a deep breath in of sweet relief!

that's right! today is the last day of winter, atleast by the calendar!

i am so excited.
There is nothing worse than when that last October leaf is hanging on for dear life and you have the realization of knowing that there are 5 months to go of winter weather cold, dreary never ending days that hang and never change.

Today is ugly dark and very wet. But i feel great despite, knowing that spring, sunny, warm, new days await. It's a good feeling

yesterdays blog....

ug...

i feel ridiculous now. I think my hormones were just all over the place yesterday, well maybe the past week or so actually.

my problems were are so unimportant. i need to quite my "complaining'!"

a girl who has the worst luck with the male species is on my mind..

i was married at 19

another woman woke up 2 sundays ago to find her husband in be next to here seizing.. he couldnt breathe and they couldnt bring him back. she's a mother of four kids and now feels so abandoned and hopeless, i cant even imagine having that heartbreak!

here i am with my husband whos so healthy, and wakes up next to me with more energy then i would like. i dont want to be the one taking for granted...

there are so many people around us right now, coincidently that are going through really rough times in their lives, and here I am spoiled, sitting at home with my family in warmth and health, nothing at all thats going wrong in ourlives, and i feel sort of guilty and bad about this.

Perhaps I'm just used to all those years in the beginning, of drama and heartache and all that, that when things are going super smooth it feels wrong?? Is that nuts or what??

I guess we all go through our ups and downs, mountains and valleys..

good days and bads!

I NEED TO HOLD MORE GRATITUDE.

I have so many things to be thankful!
I am so blessed!

Maybe watch the local/world news more often so i can realize that all i do is think within my head all day, and realize that i truly am spoiled.
I pace in my home safe warm and quiet with a beautiful healthy baby in my arms.

my kids upstairs snug with their stuffed animals in a dreamy state.

we all are healthy, are cupboards are full, we have a cool van that's fun to cruise around in, we have a doggie, each other and love. what more can i ask for? i have everything i've ever wished for.

why do i have to have those days where i am so unhappy.

i know..

read the bible more..

pray more

talk to god more..

inner dialogue: establish a routine of having more healthy dialogue within my head, like theresa says and it's in the bible " take every thought captive "....

ok well thats my wee ramblings this hour.

i need to be "more consistent!"

Bring on the sunshine

wormy morning smell

foggy missty mornings

dirty hands and mucky boots

all things growing anew!

so many thoughts so little time

It's amazing I can actually sleep at night.
I am thankful I can though!
SO much thoughts things going on in my little exhistence.
Maive was born 2 months ago and she has been amazing. The whole ordeal, the hospital stay
the nurses, certain members of the family staying away, and just feeling so loved and appreciated by God. I feel like I had a vacation, and the way things were going, I felt like
God was trying to tell me that he loved me.
But I do feel so undeserving.

I am so blessed though, Maive has been a super sleeper. I havent had sleep deprivation, insomnia, she doesnt have gas issues hardly ever. I get almost 7-8 hours of sleep at night.
The toddlers sleep well, we're all healthy, its just been a fast winter as well.
But I am finding now and then I am still feeling so empty.
Maive though, there are so many moments, we just lock eyes and hold, and smile and its feels like we're so connected. Like having this nonverbal dialogue with each other, no words exhisting, just our souls or hearts just in touch, tune... It's an amazing thing that happens, and I am struggling on how to put it into words so you could experience it for yourself, but perhaps thats just it.. someday whether you havent had kids or do, maybe its just one of those things you have to definatley experience for yourself, and its so special...
its amazing how a little peanut so fresh and new, can just fill you up so high with love, that she has the ability in her to love you, really i mean genuinely? is it all she knows so far? i think she loves me, and i will convince myself of this..

SO where I am at:

-Been trying to get back on my track with a relationship with Christ, besides his holy name coming out of my mouth now and then in a not so holy fashion. I am a sinner, big time.

-Trying to change. Be a better example to my Kids on who Christ is, also trying to find where our marriage has gone too. I know that when the kids come into play, it sort of dissapears for a while. But this has been a long while, and it seems to keep slipping farther and farther away. Likes it's a slippery bar of soap and you've got your hands lathered in olive oil and everytime you try to squeeze it there it goes poppin up towards the ceiling and there you are, teetering on one leg, reaching and it just keeps slipping out of grasp from hand to hand until it plops on the floor and slides under the crack of the door.

- Feeling like a failure. Everday, time just slips away. Gonna spend more time with Aidan, gonna train the dog, teach aiva to read & write the alphabet, gonna fold all those loads of laundry, gonna curl my hair for shawn, gonna find some time for me, gonna excersize, gonna make a spiffy dinner, gotta pump, gotta do this and that.. Feeling like I am accomplishing nothing.

-Been loosing my hold on what I know is important. - to unconditionally love my kids, to teach and make Christ known to them,even at this little age- to love my husand no matter what, whether hormones or he himself gets in the way.

-To not focus on my "feelings" so much.

- To be more self disciplined, more organized. Be less impatient, less procastinating.
I want to be a Christian, a real one. A "Christ-follower". I dont want to be someone who call's herself one. I want to be one. Stop thinking about it and just be, learn, be molded continually.
I want to love my father even though he's a know-it-all, and grumpy and argues over anything and everything. I want to be the one person who's there for him, and the one person who doesnt dissapoint him.

I want to forgive my mother, truly.
I want to forgive shawn's mom.
I want to be strong.
I want to be fearless.
I want to be unique.
I want to be transparent.

MY TIME IS UP, for now...

Almost 4 years!

That's right! This August Shawn and I will celebrate 4 years of being married! And time has flown! We have a little blue-eyed curly haired almost 3 year old girl, and a little carrot top unstoppable boy headed towards the big 2! We now own a home and life just has finally slowed down and things seem to be just the way I dreamed and hoped they would be someday as i layed on my bed as a child alone in my room staring out the window.

Sometimes I can't believe all my life long dreams came true all in such a short time. The man of my dreams, the lie defeated that I wouldnt be able to have children, God literally took the dream of a little blonde girl running around the yard with long gold curly locks chasing butterflies and made it real, i saw it come to pass a few weeks ago and i was overwhelmingly sent to my knees in gratitude.

Aidan too, while at work I would listen to Fernando Ortega's THIS TIME NEXT YEAR and I would soooo cry, indeed. I would imagine my son sitting on Grandpa's lap and such... this was 2 years before Aidan blessed our lives. They lyrics:

Turn up the lights so we can see

The red-head grandson on your knee

Better hold him while you canHe'll be walking soon

This time next year you'll want to take him

Down the old road behind your house

To show him the sun on the autumn fields To smell the wind-blown alfalfa

To look out where the geese are rising for their southern flight

Circling arrows in the skyAbove the ditches and the cottonwood

Chorus:This time next year

There'll be stories to tell

And he will listen to you, quiet in your arms

And there'll be songs to sing him

While he goes to sleep

When we gather in your home

This time next year

The boy is laughing on your knee

Hold him up so we can see

Hold him high because we're lifted in his laughter

And in the gladness he has brought you

As you walk these heavy lives

Well, that dream came true too! I dont know why I deserve these dreams of mine to keep coming true. Maybe I've finally had it coming to me after the first 19 years were really NOT FUN? who knows.. for now i am done writing.. it is hard to find time to blog... but it'll be something healthy to keep up, help with being greatful daily....

-mamaJ OUT!